Great post! Thank you! You named what I did not recognize......the disgusting victimhood of maga and rump supporters! Like millions of Americans, I have known severe hardships. As a single mother and as a woman in a patriarchal society. I have never considered myself a victim! Their mentality in wanting America the way it was 100 years ago is so ignorant. The rat musk has stated that "empathy" is the downfall of Western nations and he demonstrates the most cold blooded, cruel, hypocritical, heartless person since Hitler. He doesn't even look like a good actor. I will not forget or forgive what the oligarchs and rumpers are doing. Their days are numbered.
No, but I do think you are entitled to speak out about your struggles as you are objectively speaking disadvantaged relative to the average. The straight white American men cannot claim the same.
I know as a man, albeit not American, that of course we have our own struggles. And it is totally fine to voice those. But I would not present myself as being part of the most marginalized group in society.
What I dislike a lot about American discourse is that these straight white crybaby American men constantly shit on single mothers. Until I came to the US and followed American media, I had no idea that people hated on single mothers. That is just not a thing here in Norway. Quite the contrary, the language around single mothers tend to be very supportive.
I knew a Texan mom here who complained about a single mom living across her. I almost blew a gasket. I felt like saying "Hey this isn't your country. We chose to support single moms, and if you don't like it then move the fuck back to Texas."
Claiming empathy is the downfall of Western nations is rather absurd for someone living in the US to claim. Not saying that to be offensive, but I think the US is a place where egotism is too often celebrated. I know lots of Americans are not like that. I have known many very generous Americans. But the US is in my opinion damaged by too many people like Elon Musk who celebrates selfishness and mock empathy.
I see empathy as strength of a civilization rather than a weakness. Nordic society has put a lot of emphasis on this and I think that pays dividends. WHen you care about all people, show solidarity and help them out then you create a high trust society. High trust society is great for business. Deals can be made fast because you trust each other.
I notice when some American companies came here to do business it can be very slow because they have low trust. They spend so much resources verifying every possible thing and writing long complicated contracts to make sure every little thing is covered.
I worked with security stuff before, this American company coming in wanted to drug test us all, check emails, control what we talked about in the office, do criminal background checks and a multitude of issues. When we told them none of that was legal in Norway. It was like they had a mental collapse. They were like "but how can you do business then!?"
We just laughed and said "I guess you just have to trust people"
About Elon Musk. There is a real chance he will go up in flames. With Tesla sales falling, his stocks fall in value. They are extremely overpriced and he borrowed heavily with those as collateral. If stock fall a lot in value his whole empire could collapse like a house of cards. Boy will I celebrate then.
Imagine if he has to sell Twitter? Or even Tesla. Oh what would be the day.
But...but...but....isn't our America the home of the brave and the land of the free? I mean, just cuz we gotta drug test everybody, snoop around corners to make sure they're doing what we self-appointed busy bodies serving the greater cause of suckupsmanship with the boss, always looking out for number one and how to get ahead of all the others in the office so that when we get our key to the executive toilet we can pull up the ladder and forbid anyone coming up behind us - geez, wouldn't that be awful? Once we get a leg up we still have to compete with the losers?
Sarcasm, every bit of it. Your paragraph of US corporations coming in and telling you how to do business... Isn't that always the case. The U.S. has been big footing all over the globe for far too many years and the world seems to be pretty darn sick of it. I can't blame them.
Wow! All true and a great post. I am a rural American man and I think the victim mentality comes from how much less working folks earn in terms of spending power than workers from the 1950's to 1980's. In any case, there is no real downside or challenge being a white man in America, it's like free human capital that keeps on giving. Instant acceptance. They (the MAGA crowd) did not stop to consider they were born into an identity that people of any race or gender could be comfortable with.
Erik, thank you for your comments. I appreciate your thoughts. It helps me to hear from people outside of the US. I agree with your assessment. You name the reality that at least half of Americans don't see. We are a very young nation and so absolutely arrogant in many ways. I have always said that the fact that less than half of Americans have a passport speaks volumes! I know Americans that have never been out of their own state. Just guessing but I would assume that is true for most maga supporters. They have small prejudicial lives.
Thank you for your support and understanding of the struggles of a single mother. When people criticize single mothers..... they forget that the father was either dead or, as in most cases, the father abandoned the family. The US blames women but dead beat dads walk away from their responsibilities. The US has always been ruled by white men! Never more pathetic than now.
I have looked many times into moving to another country. The only thing stopping me is the cost of moving. I pray that the world knows there are millions of Americans, like me, that are heart broken over the disgrace of this country. I have trouble sleeping and every day brings more horrors from a ruthless narcissist and his oligarchs.
No problem, that has been a bit my mission to write in English from a Nordic perspective to give English readers a different perspective from the common narrative.
My year living in the US had huge impact on how I saw myself and the world. I was actually deeply critical of Norway before I lived in the US. Norway is by no means a perfect country, but I really amplified all our problems in my mind because all the qualities of my home country was invisible. That year in the US was a kind of wakeup call. While there was many things I loved about the US, it probably played a bigger role in making my appreciate where I came from.
I did indeed experience what you speak of. I was surprised how few Americans had never been anywhere. But I don't blame them. You guys tend to get very little paid vacation.
Norway is actually very feminist and growing up in Norway in the 1980s that bothered me as a man. I only saw the problems with that and didn't see the benefits until I lived in the US and later became a father.
In the US I was frankly rather shocked by the misogyny. I should point out that I am from a kind of rustbelt town in Norway. A town that had a lot of industry that just collapsed while I was growing up. So I was around a lot of blue collar guys. What surprised me is that none of them spoke of women in such a offensive and demeaning way as I saw college guys do in America. That was really disappointing.
I remember guys in the US straight out telling me to take advantage of women. And some guys trying to show the "foreigner" how to pick up girls while proceeding to be grossly disrespectful towards a woman. Stuff I think would have gotten you punched in the face over here.
Okay it sounds all very negative. I did have positive experiences. Americans are generally very hospitable. Americans invite strangers home to their house with much lower barrier than us Northern Europeans. And it is quicker to get to know people and socialize. Norwegians are a lot more shy. OTOH your American confidence will almost be a superpower over here. I floated on an adopted American confidence for a couple of years before I reverted to normal Scandinavian behavior. Hehe.
In our defense I would say you spend less time making close friends than in the US. Like I noticed I could make a friend in a day in the US. Never in Norway. But even after a year I didn't feel that close to anyone. Here I think after some months you can be very close with someone. It is the first step that is hard here as we are more shy and reserved.
Anyway, if you ever consider Norway, I actually wrote a guide to move to Norway. You see my wife is American so I have been through this process:
Speaking of cost. That doesn't need to be an obstacle. Many companies here pay for your move. You can apply to a company from abroad. Once you get a job, it tends to be a mere formality to get a residence permit.
And another important thing you Americans need to know: No, you don't need to speak the local language. In Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Iceland, Finland, Netherlands pretty much everyone speak English including small kids. Corporations often use English as a work language.
Just because the job ad is in Norwegian doesn't mean it requires Norwegian to do the job. It is of course a little bit clumsy to have to use Google translate and stuff for some texts but generally it works. I have known Americans here for over a decade who can hardly say a word Norwegian.
You can likely manage in Switzerland, Germany, Portugal and Spain with just English. France can be a bit hard. And Ireland and Britain obviously works too.
I think one thing that is forgotten is the U.S is still a very young nation. The Nordic countries are much older, so i guess you would say they are more mature. I believe nations are like people, as with age comes wisdom. The U.S in my opinion has not reached the maturity of the Nordic or even other European nations. If the U.S lasts a few more hundred years , i think it will be different. I am not defending the the flaws of the U.S just pointing them out and the reasons i believe it is the way it is.
Americans for the most part just don't think the way Europeans and nordic countries do and yes like you said they don't travel too much. I am an American but i am neither a liberal or a Conservative, i tend to be an observer of politics and i definetly see the same flaws that you see about the U.S. I think that it will take probably a few hundred more years until the United states is at the level of maturity of European nations, we will certainly not see it.
That is my 2 cents on part of the problem, though probably does not explain everything.
Excellent post. I am all in favour of engaging with opposing views but defending evil crosses a line with me. And whether you view things from a Christian, other religious or humanist viewpoint, what we are seeing is evil.
Thanks, doesn't it puzzle you how so many of these people embracing evil call themselves Christians?
I am atheist myself but always found the core message of Jesus admirable and something that makes sense morally for us non-religious as well. His message on forgiveness. Generosity towards sinner and those different from us. His message in sharing and not worshipping accumulation of wealth.
Then how did so many Christians end up pursuing the direct opposite of these words of Jesus?
The way I see it is that a religion like Christianity has a hold on its followers through its belief system, fellowship, ethical requirements and faith. I believe MAGA Christians hold on to the absurdity in the beliefs, weaponize fellowship so it becomes hate of others, go hell bent for faith rather than reason and replace the religion’s true ethics with power ethics of their own. I am very much in favour of true Christians downplaying the belief system but disowning so-called Christians who do not follow the ethics of Christ.
MAGA Christians are primarily Christian Nationalists. The truth is in the title - they are nation first who use Bible related messages to support this ideology. Many Pastors of other faiths have been clear in calling out the differences in faith practice. I also believe they take advantage of "new" Christians who are in the.concrete phase of believing the words in the Bible are absolute truth regardless of the many translations and cultural shifts. Therfore, the mega-churches can speak nationalism from the pulpit. It is scary and yet, some folks are really trying to live Christ's values- just not quite understanding some of the warped versions.
I think there's a natural tendency for people to look down on other people when they think they're somehow special, like "God's Elect." From there, it's a short step to hating them because they're "the other."
Fundamentalist Xtianity has a sense of persecution baked into it. There’s a mentality that they’re different, while non-Xtians are “of the world.” Combine that with DEI backlash and you get big victim mentality. As for the rich bastards, well if they gave a fck they wouldn’t be billionaires in the first place.
To be fair, I think it is okay to be a victim. There are people who lived through terrible things which I think should be allowed to claim victim status rather than always going "I am a survivor." But white male billionaires do not get to call themselves victims and get teary eyed after they fire thousands left and right which they cackle like a super villain.
What I find despicable is just these MAGA claiming victimhood for their own petty grievances while never allowing anyone else to be victims. And then people who have a much stronger claim to it than them. That somebody criticize your bad behavior does not make you a victim, but too many MAGA minions act that way. And that is kind of sickening.
(to clarify, I use "you" to mean the general "you" and you you Aaron)
I have been reading you articles, as an American what you say about the United States is true. The U.S has some very deep flaws for sure. The biggest is that everything is about profit and Americans are very lawsuit happy. The court system allows lawsuits for almost anything, frivilous lawsuits are rampant which causes the cost of products and services to be more expensive and enriches lawyers.
Money is king here, if you are NOT rich you are basically a nobody. Though labor laws have come a long way, they are not as robust as the European and Scandanavian countries and their is no mandated vacation days, no pensions unless you work for the government or stated or city. So you have to save your own money for retirement (their is social security) but it is hard to live on that.
I live in a blue state, meaning very left leaning state, yet the cost of living here is astronomical. We have more generous employee rights here like mandated sick time ( which is unheard of in most states). Otherwise its not much different then the conservative leaning states.
Not all Americans are materialistic, but the way you have to compete to live here makes for a dog eat dog world, it kind of forces you to think only of yourself to survive and be selfish. Americans don't like paying taxes because they think that its a waste of their money don't care much about the government helping the less fortunate.
What you stated about the healthcare system and insurance is correct. Though i will tell you that the healthcare here is state of the art, i have no complaints on care it is top quality, but very expensive.
Anyway living in the United states is hard if you DON"T have money and are of the working class like me and my husband.
As Christians i depend on God to provide and he has, we lack for nothing.
Thanks Gladys. I think what is frustrating as a foreigner watching the US (and I have lived there) is that it is a country with such potential. The US is so rich, has so much land and natural resources. A well educated population. An old and well established democracy. America could have given so much more to its citizens.
Considerably poorer countries are able to deliver much higher life quality to the average citizen than the US.
What I noticed in the US which is sort of absurd is how many are forced to live in huge houses simply to be in a decent neighborhood with okay schools and low crime. I was reading about a Norwegian couple staying there some years and they remarked on how they had to buy a house 4 times the size of what they needed. Smaller ones simply did not exist in that area.
Hence you end up in a situation where Americans are living it big while at the same time feeling poor. They struggle to pay bills, while living in a house bigger than they need. And of course without any kind of public transportation (or rather cities built for it to work well), they are force to buy expensive cars, insurance, gasoline etc.
There was someone doing an in depth analysis of this comparing the average Dutch person with the average American one. It was two economists. They found that the Dutch person ended up with a more comfortable economy than the average American despite the fact that US is a much richer country with higher salaries, where average price per square meter of housing is lower.
It is just that in the Netherlands you got more choices in smaller housing. Tons of excellent public transportation options meaning you don't have to spend as much money on transportation. A family can manage with one car rather than 2-3. Or they can have cars but they can be user less often and be smaller.
I am an example of this. Don't own a car. Live in an apartment. Within a 15 minutes walk (a walk not driving) I get to dentist, medical doctor, library, multiple super markets, restaurants, clothing stores, hardware store, gym, soccer field, horse farm, forrest with creeks and waterfalls, ski pists, subway station, buss station, numerous pre-schools, two elementary schools, one middle school, countless playgrounds, swings, sandboxes for kids, parks. And I probably forgotten a bunch of things.
I remember living in the US in the suburbs. Within a 15 minute walk I had not reached much of anything of interest. Just more houses.
I admit it is awesome with huge American houses and yards. There are many clear benefits to that. But it means society is arranged in a way that require a very high income to just live comfortable.
I have seen some Americans with video blogs living here in Norway remark on this. Just how much better economy they get. I don't see many talk much about this because it is a kind of nuts and bolts discussion which is a bit abstract, but basically the US has organized itself in a way that makes quite affluent people feel poor.
Yes your friend is correct about the affuent neighborhoods. Their are neighborhoods that have smaller houses and are low in crime, but it kind of depends on the area you live in.
I live in California, so if you live in Los Angeles, you will NOT find small houses in affuent neighborhoods or they are few or far between. I live in Ventura county which is does have smaller track houses that are low crime safe areas, but Ventura county is a suburb of Los Angeles and does not have big metropolitan areas like Los Angeles.
Overall Ventura county as a suburb of Los Angeles has mostly bedroom communities.
We are working class and we manage to live in a suburb of Ventura county called Simi Valley which is probably considered somewhat affluent but has low crime and is safer then living in Los Angeles county. Though it is not as affluent as Westlake village, Agoura hills or which is within 20 minutes driving time from us.
My husband works very close to home but alot of his co-workers have to commute at least 1 hour away to come to work in Simi valley because of how expensive the rents are. Their is a city called Palmdale and Lancaster that alot of people live and commute to Ventura county for their jobs. Palmdale and Lancaster does have a lower cost of housing for those who bought awhile ago, but it has higher crime because it draws mostly low earning working class people to live there.
So yes if you want to live in a safe neighborhood you have to live in an affuent neighborhood with a much bigger house then maybe you want or you have to move to the suburbs like where i live where its away from the big city and you will find some small track houses in low crime safe neighborhoods.
Those small track houses though are astronomically high in price now, so you would have to be affluent to buy them now unfortunately.
I do feel very blessed that we do live in a nice safe area even though we are working class, and that my husband only works 5 minutes away and i work from home, but i know alot of people have long commutes. We also have a very old car which we have kept up maintaining to avoid buying a newer car.
If I were younger, I would leave in disgust. But I am a care giver, a senior, etc. so seem to be trapped in a country I do not recognize. So, I do what I can to call out this regime, tend to the real victims and support the opposition. The victimhood mantle worn by white males is especially galling to me. I remember when women had to have a parent, guardian or spouse to co-sign for credit cards, apartment rentals, loans, etc. We were steered to careers in education and healthcare. I was called a misfit because I wanted to be an engineer and was attending a public university that had just started allowing undergrad women. Sigh. So much changed for the better, but now the pendulum swings back. I can well imagine the concerns that people of color are feeling. My country shames me.
People take for granted the good things in society they grow up with. I am guilty of that myself. As a young man, I hated feminism in Norway. I hated social democracy. I idolized American style capitalism. I was utterly blind to the qualities of my own country and people. I came to the US over 20 years ago, thinking it would be the ideal society. But ironically it was really a way for to start seeing my own home country in a realistic light.
It made me realize that every single country on this planet has challenges. Stuff that doesn't work. But I came to realize that many of the problems we had would have been seen as luxury problems in most other countries.
The feminism I was annoyed at looked very different when I started seeing a lot of misogyny. I remember getting advised to take advantage of women in the US. People telling me how to approach a girl only to see what looked very much like sexual assault to me. There was time where I was seeing stuff that looked like it could end in a rape. And nobody seemed to act.
When you haven't seen all that stuff before it is harder to empathize with women. The stuff my mom talked about how women got treated in the 1960s Norway just seemed like far away an irrelevant for my time. And now I see a guy sentenced for rape in civil court. That brags about sexual assault on women (grab them by the...) gets elected for the highest office in the US. A rude wakeup call. Why I think us men have to speak out in favor of women and other minorities and disadvantaged groups.
What can I say? Somehow I think a lot of American women have naively believed that their rights have been won and secured. Or the right managed to convince them that their primary enemy was transwomen and trans rights advocates.
I cannot really tell how they managed to fool so many people. Perhaps religion. It seems like you can get people to buy anything then. Trump cannot quote a single passage in the Bible or mention any story important to him. Yet the Evangelicals act as if he is a man chosen by God.
I lived in Germany in the ‘60s as a service dependent. Multiple times I was unwillingly groped by a peer student or stranger as an 11 or 12 year old. As a 12 year old traveling over the Atlantic on a night flight, a stranger sitting next to me started groping me during the night. I had to get tough, but did not know how to speak up, until I did. When I started Uni, a stranger told me I must be smart, because they let me in. An elder professor greeted us with, “Good morning, gentlemen … and Lady?” I learned to never cry and how to navigate being unladylike and being too nice, the art of reading a room. I was told by my first boss after graduating university that I was hired because they needed a woman in the shop. I think the full force of my second classness hit me then. I moved to a different company and thrived as they made it important to value all employees. Even when there were layoffs, they tried to do them with care. I do not want to see that world return. How many times do I have to drag this tired old body out of retirement to call out the need for empathy, kindness, opportunity, etc. for all? We all want the same thing: to love and to be loved, to provide for family, to not be a burden. Thanks for sharing your story. I thought I’d add mine.
Wow that is crazy. I am shocked by how young girls men would touch. It seems way more common than I had assumed in the past. Must have been rough mentally. Was it something you felt you could discuss with anyone else?
You know I keep wondering about this 1950s and 1960s that the tradcons glorify today how much of that was just propaganda. The news would naturally not tell citizens about how prevalent what you describe was. I bet you were all just told to keep your mouths shut about it. Pretend like nothing happened.
Now I grew up in the 1980s so women obviously had more right then, but I do encounter young men today online who also have a nostalgic view of the 1980s, a time they never experienced themselves.
What I try to point out is that so many of the problems that we talk about today existed then as well, it is just that it was taboo to talk about. It could be child abuse, rape, violent parents. A lot of things that didn't make it into the news and which people didn't talk about because it was still something that made people feel very awkward.
I remember in the 1990s that our prime minister was away on sick leave for depression. It was a very important moment I think because he chose to be open about it. A topic that at the time was still quite taboo to talk about.
I think in the ‘60s we kept things to ourselves. I felt shame. That said, re the airplane incident, I excused myself to go to the rest room, went back to check with my parents, who had two seats somewhat near one another. After hanging in the aisle, someone swapped seats with Dad so I could sit with Mom and Dad went back to my seat. Ha. I bet my groper was worried. But I never told my parents, I think I was worried about a fight on the plane. As an older adult, I finally told Mom, I think during the me, too phase. At least I never suffered rape or a beating. I had a friend who confided she’d been raped by two different men within a year. One was a professor, who she had to see often in class. This stuff is real which is irritating. Many abusers are married with children. How would they feel if it was their daughter? One of my friends is biracial and has a son she worries about all the time if he should be pulled over for driving while black, etc. Another friend is grandma to biracial children. So far, they are doing well as young tads, but I know she worries about the future for them. Anyway, thanks for listening to my venting. Maybe things will bounce back before long.
After everyone is sacked, when all minorities have been marginalised or deported, after all of talent has fled overseas, when all of the economic and physical walls have been built, when angry people all over the world are boycotting US goods and services, when the oligarchs have all of the money, WHO WILL BUY THEIR GOODS OR SERVICES?
They have only become rich because of the middle class and intelligentsia which they are hellbent on destroying.
Hi Natasha, sorry it took me a while to get back to you on this. I simply did not think it was possible to give a good short reply to such a complex question.
This topic is so profoundly loaded with hard fronts that almost anything said can be misinterpreted or taken out of context. Self-victimization of white males, has been such a powerful propaganda tool for fascists, redpillers, manosphere, racists, misogynists and many others that I simply did not feel I could write about those disadvantages without giving them proper context. That is what I tried to do here:
I am sorry this is a very long article. I suppose you could skim or jump around to see what my points are.
I can try to do a some sort of summary here:
White male disadvantages is typically in public discourse. White men are typically disparaged and blamed for all the social ills of society. While other groups of people are generally painted as victims struggling to overcome the problems white males have created.
Now in part, it is somewhat unavoidable. White men are behind a lot of problems. Men specifically are the key drivers of most wars, crime and violence. It stands to reason that we get more criticism than women. But naturally for a regular Joe just trying to get by with no special privilege it can feel kind of crushing to always be singled out as the source of all the problems when Mr. average Joe never took party in those. He didn't start a war. Isn't part of a gang etc.
It can be a bit like being a minority overrepresented on crime. While it might make sense that our group of people get talked about it feels unfair to be lumped in with them when you yourself never participated in any crime.
As for the blame on whites. Most of this writing is of course written from the perspective of Western society, which is white dominated. Naturally in this context white people have most of the power and thus most of the responsibilities for what ultimate happens in society. Thus you naturally become a target for criticism.
But again, if you are a regular Joe, in a regular job with no special privilege, power or influence that can feel unfair.
And as the "face of the oppressor" you will run into problems whether you like it or not if you are not careful. I had a friend who worked with Africans before. He did not realize the dynamic between whites and black would be totally different in the US when he came there. He walked into an all black neighborhood thinking there was no issue doing that. They slammed him against the wall and told him to get his white ass out of there.
There is a great book about gang crime in 1980s Chicago in the Housing Projects called Gang Leader for a Day about a Indian-American doing his PhD there. He goes interviewing black gang members. It becomes clear in the conversation there that he very much had a privilege relative to whites over being Indian. They made it clear they would have beaten him up if he was white.
It is not entirely uncommon that people who have a history of having been oppressed by white people, have very hostile attitude towards any whites no matter what role you yourself or your ancestors might have played in that.
They are using DARVO - Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. It is a strategy used by all abusive personalities. It only works because more people aren’t familiar with it.
You’re welcome! Psychologist Dr. Jennifer Joy Freyd studied how it works and, I believe, came up with the acronym. It is so incredibly effective at giving someone the upper hand that it is considered a weapon of psychological warfare. It utilizes a mix of gaslighting and blame shifting that is almost impossible to see unless you have been taught how it works. Narcissistic parents, domestic abusers, cult leaders and tyrants all use it obtain/maintain dominance and avoid accountability. I wish more people knew about it.
Hey thanks for telling me about this! That is very useful knowledge. Now, I knew people use these kinds of tactics but I never had a word for it or knew it was a studied phenomenon and narrowed down in this way. That is a very powerful tool in just easily label someone employing these tactics as you got a name to give it.
I wanted to comment on your article about healthcare. It is terrible that a health emergency can pretty much cause you to be bankrupt if you need anykind of emergency surgery or a long hospital stay here in the United states.
I hope one day that will change here in this nation, being sick or having a medical emergency should not cause you to go bankrupt.'
You are correct about providers charge alot for procedures and they pad the bills with unecessary charges like $20 for an aspirin.
Also pharmaceuticals mark up their medications up to 500%, that also contributes to the astronomical cost of healthcare.
Nothing ever gets done because everytime a universal healthcare which is called Medicare here that seniors can sign up for after 66 is mentioned to expand to ALL, people cry that they don't want goverment run healthcare.
the fear of universal healthcare is irrational, so nothing really changes.
MAGA people see themselves as "Real Americans", what happens to them is real, what happens to anyone else does not matter. Human beings are so good at group identity, they become completely irrational.
Yeah I think you hit the nail on the head. It reminds me a lot of how the Nazis talked in the 1930s. They maintained the delusion that they represented all Germans by dismissing their opponents as having been corrupted by Jewish ideas, and thus were no longer really German but Jews. Hence anyone who was socialist, social democrat or liberal was simply defined as a form of Jew and hence not German and hence not worthy of any respect or rights.
As an white American woman I’m always amazed at my population’s arrogance. We don’t see our contribution to the suffering of others. We continue to act with such superiority and victimization. I’m ashamed and I’m sorry. I have spent my whole life fighting this mentality. Clearly we have failed. I’m not proud of my race and I’m sorry .
Pride is a funny thing. I am proud to be Norwegian, but I don't see why people would be proud of their skin color per se. I think when people say "proud to be black", it is really just a way of rejecting the shame many have tried to impose on them for their skin color. But society has not tried to make us ashamed of being white, so it would be odd to pronounce "pride" is merely having a skin color.
Of course being Norwegian is not an accomplishment I can point to. It is just what I was born into. But I can be proud of the values and type of society my people made. But ultimately those are about actions, choices and values and not a physical attribute.
And as an American there are many things you can be proud of even if there are things which are also quite negative. I think one can choose to be proud of the good things and criticize the bad things.
I have long been critical of the US, but I also know the US has a strong left, that will not easily give up against authoritarian forces. I am putting my faith in American civil society and American spirit and energy. I like to think that while Trump is bulldozing everyone now.... eventually an effective resistance will slowly gather momentum and organize to resist.
I don't like when people say they are ashamed of their race. You are human and exceptionally so. You are a good human striving to be better all the time and to SEE other people. You should be very proud of that. At this point I think we need to divide people into the decent and undecent. And I mean UNDECENT. The antithesis of striving to do better.
I don't think Susan was ashamed of being white. Just that she didn't see a reason to be proud of it. And why should anyone be proud of their skin color? It is not an accomplishment. The only reason I can see people express pride is when they are trying to push back against people trying to shame them for their skin color. But I don't think that is a white problem. Whites have more of a problem with white supremacy.
I was trying to tell her not to feel bad because she is obviously a good person. If she feels anger for what others have done I'm down with that being a brown person myself I feel anger a lot myself but don't blame all white people for the actions of those who perpetrate and I don't want anyone to feel ashamed of things they can't help by being associated with people who look like them.
Thanks it makes it more clear. I suspected this is what you meant. It can be a balancing act. I dislike those who don’t want to talk about history or white supremacy and instead only speak or national pride. But I also dislike a lot “White Fragility” talk of the likes of Robin DiAngelo. It feels like promoting self-loathing.
I don’t think anyone should loathe themselves over their skin color. I instead argue we should work against racism rather than perfecting self-loathing because white people hating themselves doesn’t actually help any marginalized minority.
I think a focus on policy is better. Things like sensible affirmative action but also I believe any society with serious programs and systems to deal with poverty and inequality will indirectly help marginalized minorities.
As much as I understand what you are saying I have to acknowledge the damage the white race oligarchs have done to the indigenous populations of the world. Our culture is one of arrogance without respect to other populations. I live and work in a Hispanic population. It is a culture of beauty and grace. Every time I work in my historic population I find an arrogance in most of it that makes me run from it.
While we should acknowledge the problem with white supremacy I don't think you should see your culture as being your race. I know this is a common perspective in the US, but I really would argue strongly that such thinking probably undermines anti-racism efforts.
We should not equate our race with our culture, otherwise we imply that culture derives from our genes. That would indirectly imply that white people are superior to other people given that Western culture has dominated the world economically, technologically, culturally and militarily.
Our culture comes from cultural transmission not genetic transmission. It is about what society you grow up in. Naturally culture will overlap with skin color, but it isn't the same.
I lived in North Dakota among descendants of Norwegians. They may have looked like me but I did not feel we had much in common. I had more in common with my Vietnamese-Norwegian friend. We might have quite different DNA lineage, but we grew up in the same culture.
Bottomline is that you can belong to Western culture regardless of your skin color or blood lineage. And that applies to anywhere. I recently saw an interview with a black Japanese girl. Her parents were originally from the US. She went to the US, but she felt like a complete outsider and could not relate to African-American culture. She felt more Japanese and so she return to Japan.
I remember in the interview that her mannerism, body language and everything was totally Japanese.
If "white" was a culture then you and me should share culture. Most likely we don't. For me writing English is more like an act. It is to mimic the way Americans express themselves. I would express many of these thoughts different in my native tongue.
Just as I think African-Americans and Nigerians, Kenyans, Ghanans etc likely don't have that much in common. You mention hispanics. Well I would bet Argentinians, Brazilians and Mexicans are very different from each other.
Please don't read this the wrong way. I realize that in America "white" and "black" is often just a shorthand for the culture that is most dominant among white Americans. Just as "black" is a shorthand for a culture prevalent among descendants of African American slaves.
A problem with tying this to skin color though is that it denies the ability of people have a culture different from their skin color assigned culture. A black person should be able to have a culture more similar to the white population than the black without somehow being labeled as a traitor to his or her own race. A race should not own a particular culture.
And at the bottom of all this is that race is a societal construct used to separate people into superior and inferior. There is no such thing as race. We are all one species with variations. Humans though some people seem to have not reached that level yet
Accenture was the best place I ever worked. They demand a lot from their people, but they give a lot in return. Very few American companies come up to their level.
Nobles always complain when their Rights are reduced and commoners given more. Its the same here, they had hierarchical view of society. DEI hires is overstepping their station while millionaire greatly suffer when their power checked.
Great post! Thank you! You named what I did not recognize......the disgusting victimhood of maga and rump supporters! Like millions of Americans, I have known severe hardships. As a single mother and as a woman in a patriarchal society. I have never considered myself a victim! Their mentality in wanting America the way it was 100 years ago is so ignorant. The rat musk has stated that "empathy" is the downfall of Western nations and he demonstrates the most cold blooded, cruel, hypocritical, heartless person since Hitler. He doesn't even look like a good actor. I will not forget or forgive what the oligarchs and rumpers are doing. Their days are numbered.
No, but I do think you are entitled to speak out about your struggles as you are objectively speaking disadvantaged relative to the average. The straight white American men cannot claim the same.
I know as a man, albeit not American, that of course we have our own struggles. And it is totally fine to voice those. But I would not present myself as being part of the most marginalized group in society.
What I dislike a lot about American discourse is that these straight white crybaby American men constantly shit on single mothers. Until I came to the US and followed American media, I had no idea that people hated on single mothers. That is just not a thing here in Norway. Quite the contrary, the language around single mothers tend to be very supportive.
I knew a Texan mom here who complained about a single mom living across her. I almost blew a gasket. I felt like saying "Hey this isn't your country. We chose to support single moms, and if you don't like it then move the fuck back to Texas."
Claiming empathy is the downfall of Western nations is rather absurd for someone living in the US to claim. Not saying that to be offensive, but I think the US is a place where egotism is too often celebrated. I know lots of Americans are not like that. I have known many very generous Americans. But the US is in my opinion damaged by too many people like Elon Musk who celebrates selfishness and mock empathy.
I see empathy as strength of a civilization rather than a weakness. Nordic society has put a lot of emphasis on this and I think that pays dividends. WHen you care about all people, show solidarity and help them out then you create a high trust society. High trust society is great for business. Deals can be made fast because you trust each other.
I notice when some American companies came here to do business it can be very slow because they have low trust. They spend so much resources verifying every possible thing and writing long complicated contracts to make sure every little thing is covered.
I worked with security stuff before, this American company coming in wanted to drug test us all, check emails, control what we talked about in the office, do criminal background checks and a multitude of issues. When we told them none of that was legal in Norway. It was like they had a mental collapse. They were like "but how can you do business then!?"
We just laughed and said "I guess you just have to trust people"
About Elon Musk. There is a real chance he will go up in flames. With Tesla sales falling, his stocks fall in value. They are extremely overpriced and he borrowed heavily with those as collateral. If stock fall a lot in value his whole empire could collapse like a house of cards. Boy will I celebrate then.
Imagine if he has to sell Twitter? Or even Tesla. Oh what would be the day.
But...but...but....isn't our America the home of the brave and the land of the free? I mean, just cuz we gotta drug test everybody, snoop around corners to make sure they're doing what we self-appointed busy bodies serving the greater cause of suckupsmanship with the boss, always looking out for number one and how to get ahead of all the others in the office so that when we get our key to the executive toilet we can pull up the ladder and forbid anyone coming up behind us - geez, wouldn't that be awful? Once we get a leg up we still have to compete with the losers?
Sarcasm, every bit of it. Your paragraph of US corporations coming in and telling you how to do business... Isn't that always the case. The U.S. has been big footing all over the globe for far too many years and the world seems to be pretty darn sick of it. I can't blame them.
Thank you for your article. So well said.
Wow! All true and a great post. I am a rural American man and I think the victim mentality comes from how much less working folks earn in terms of spending power than workers from the 1950's to 1980's. In any case, there is no real downside or challenge being a white man in America, it's like free human capital that keeps on giving. Instant acceptance. They (the MAGA crowd) did not stop to consider they were born into an identity that people of any race or gender could be comfortable with.
Hmm. I may have to stockpile Champagne!
Erik, thank you for your comments. I appreciate your thoughts. It helps me to hear from people outside of the US. I agree with your assessment. You name the reality that at least half of Americans don't see. We are a very young nation and so absolutely arrogant in many ways. I have always said that the fact that less than half of Americans have a passport speaks volumes! I know Americans that have never been out of their own state. Just guessing but I would assume that is true for most maga supporters. They have small prejudicial lives.
Thank you for your support and understanding of the struggles of a single mother. When people criticize single mothers..... they forget that the father was either dead or, as in most cases, the father abandoned the family. The US blames women but dead beat dads walk away from their responsibilities. The US has always been ruled by white men! Never more pathetic than now.
I have looked many times into moving to another country. The only thing stopping me is the cost of moving. I pray that the world knows there are millions of Americans, like me, that are heart broken over the disgrace of this country. I have trouble sleeping and every day brings more horrors from a ruthless narcissist and his oligarchs.
No problem, that has been a bit my mission to write in English from a Nordic perspective to give English readers a different perspective from the common narrative.
My year living in the US had huge impact on how I saw myself and the world. I was actually deeply critical of Norway before I lived in the US. Norway is by no means a perfect country, but I really amplified all our problems in my mind because all the qualities of my home country was invisible. That year in the US was a kind of wakeup call. While there was many things I loved about the US, it probably played a bigger role in making my appreciate where I came from.
I did indeed experience what you speak of. I was surprised how few Americans had never been anywhere. But I don't blame them. You guys tend to get very little paid vacation.
Norway is actually very feminist and growing up in Norway in the 1980s that bothered me as a man. I only saw the problems with that and didn't see the benefits until I lived in the US and later became a father.
In the US I was frankly rather shocked by the misogyny. I should point out that I am from a kind of rustbelt town in Norway. A town that had a lot of industry that just collapsed while I was growing up. So I was around a lot of blue collar guys. What surprised me is that none of them spoke of women in such a offensive and demeaning way as I saw college guys do in America. That was really disappointing.
I remember guys in the US straight out telling me to take advantage of women. And some guys trying to show the "foreigner" how to pick up girls while proceeding to be grossly disrespectful towards a woman. Stuff I think would have gotten you punched in the face over here.
Okay it sounds all very negative. I did have positive experiences. Americans are generally very hospitable. Americans invite strangers home to their house with much lower barrier than us Northern Europeans. And it is quicker to get to know people and socialize. Norwegians are a lot more shy. OTOH your American confidence will almost be a superpower over here. I floated on an adopted American confidence for a couple of years before I reverted to normal Scandinavian behavior. Hehe.
In our defense I would say you spend less time making close friends than in the US. Like I noticed I could make a friend in a day in the US. Never in Norway. But even after a year I didn't feel that close to anyone. Here I think after some months you can be very close with someone. It is the first step that is hard here as we are more shy and reserved.
Anyway, if you ever consider Norway, I actually wrote a guide to move to Norway. You see my wife is American so I have been through this process:
https://erik-engheim.medium.com/so-you-want-to-move-to-norway-5f147f17c07b
Speaking of cost. That doesn't need to be an obstacle. Many companies here pay for your move. You can apply to a company from abroad. Once you get a job, it tends to be a mere formality to get a residence permit.
And another important thing you Americans need to know: No, you don't need to speak the local language. In Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Iceland, Finland, Netherlands pretty much everyone speak English including small kids. Corporations often use English as a work language.
Just because the job ad is in Norwegian doesn't mean it requires Norwegian to do the job. It is of course a little bit clumsy to have to use Google translate and stuff for some texts but generally it works. I have known Americans here for over a decade who can hardly say a word Norwegian.
You can likely manage in Switzerland, Germany, Portugal and Spain with just English. France can be a bit hard. And Ireland and Britain obviously works too.
I think one thing that is forgotten is the U.S is still a very young nation. The Nordic countries are much older, so i guess you would say they are more mature. I believe nations are like people, as with age comes wisdom. The U.S in my opinion has not reached the maturity of the Nordic or even other European nations. If the U.S lasts a few more hundred years , i think it will be different. I am not defending the the flaws of the U.S just pointing them out and the reasons i believe it is the way it is.
Americans for the most part just don't think the way Europeans and nordic countries do and yes like you said they don't travel too much. I am an American but i am neither a liberal or a Conservative, i tend to be an observer of politics and i definetly see the same flaws that you see about the U.S. I think that it will take probably a few hundred more years until the United states is at the level of maturity of European nations, we will certainly not see it.
That is my 2 cents on part of the problem, though probably does not explain everything.
I've known people who were proud that they never left the county, much less the state, where they were born.
Pathetic!
He's a psychopath, as is his Führer Trumpty-Dumpty.
Excellent post. I am all in favour of engaging with opposing views but defending evil crosses a line with me. And whether you view things from a Christian, other religious or humanist viewpoint, what we are seeing is evil.
Thanks, doesn't it puzzle you how so many of these people embracing evil call themselves Christians?
I am atheist myself but always found the core message of Jesus admirable and something that makes sense morally for us non-religious as well. His message on forgiveness. Generosity towards sinner and those different from us. His message in sharing and not worshipping accumulation of wealth.
Then how did so many Christians end up pursuing the direct opposite of these words of Jesus?
The way I see it is that a religion like Christianity has a hold on its followers through its belief system, fellowship, ethical requirements and faith. I believe MAGA Christians hold on to the absurdity in the beliefs, weaponize fellowship so it becomes hate of others, go hell bent for faith rather than reason and replace the religion’s true ethics with power ethics of their own. I am very much in favour of true Christians downplaying the belief system but disowning so-called Christians who do not follow the ethics of Christ.
They've turned it into a full blown cult.
MAGA Christians are primarily Christian Nationalists. The truth is in the title - they are nation first who use Bible related messages to support this ideology. Many Pastors of other faiths have been clear in calling out the differences in faith practice. I also believe they take advantage of "new" Christians who are in the.concrete phase of believing the words in the Bible are absolute truth regardless of the many translations and cultural shifts. Therfore, the mega-churches can speak nationalism from the pulpit. It is scary and yet, some folks are really trying to live Christ's values- just not quite understanding some of the warped versions.
I think there's a natural tendency for people to look down on other people when they think they're somehow special, like "God's Elect." From there, it's a short step to hating them because they're "the other."
They're "redefined" what "Christian" means to suit their agenda. So did Hitler. That's why we call them "Chritofascists".
It’s the Poor Me Syndrome. The new PMS. Trump used it his whole life while he screwed anybody he ever dealt with.
Fundamentalist Xtianity has a sense of persecution baked into it. There’s a mentality that they’re different, while non-Xtians are “of the world.” Combine that with DEI backlash and you get big victim mentality. As for the rich bastards, well if they gave a fck they wouldn’t be billionaires in the first place.
https://open.substack.com/pub/taramcgrath/p/your-100-is-his-300-million?r=2bsdz9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
They think not getting their way all the time is persecution. 🙄
Excellent post!
What I’ve come to see as MAGA’s goal Is to breed victims.
And victims create more victims.
We of the resistance have no interest in being victims.
And we have no interest in anyone else being a victim either.
To be fair, I think it is okay to be a victim. There are people who lived through terrible things which I think should be allowed to claim victim status rather than always going "I am a survivor." But white male billionaires do not get to call themselves victims and get teary eyed after they fire thousands left and right which they cackle like a super villain.
What I find despicable is just these MAGA claiming victimhood for their own petty grievances while never allowing anyone else to be victims. And then people who have a much stronger claim to it than them. That somebody criticize your bad behavior does not make you a victim, but too many MAGA minions act that way. And that is kind of sickening.
(to clarify, I use "you" to mean the general "you" and you you Aaron)
I have been reading you articles, as an American what you say about the United States is true. The U.S has some very deep flaws for sure. The biggest is that everything is about profit and Americans are very lawsuit happy. The court system allows lawsuits for almost anything, frivilous lawsuits are rampant which causes the cost of products and services to be more expensive and enriches lawyers.
Money is king here, if you are NOT rich you are basically a nobody. Though labor laws have come a long way, they are not as robust as the European and Scandanavian countries and their is no mandated vacation days, no pensions unless you work for the government or stated or city. So you have to save your own money for retirement (their is social security) but it is hard to live on that.
I live in a blue state, meaning very left leaning state, yet the cost of living here is astronomical. We have more generous employee rights here like mandated sick time ( which is unheard of in most states). Otherwise its not much different then the conservative leaning states.
Not all Americans are materialistic, but the way you have to compete to live here makes for a dog eat dog world, it kind of forces you to think only of yourself to survive and be selfish. Americans don't like paying taxes because they think that its a waste of their money don't care much about the government helping the less fortunate.
What you stated about the healthcare system and insurance is correct. Though i will tell you that the healthcare here is state of the art, i have no complaints on care it is top quality, but very expensive.
Anyway living in the United states is hard if you DON"T have money and are of the working class like me and my husband.
As Christians i depend on God to provide and he has, we lack for nothing.
Thanks Gladys. I think what is frustrating as a foreigner watching the US (and I have lived there) is that it is a country with such potential. The US is so rich, has so much land and natural resources. A well educated population. An old and well established democracy. America could have given so much more to its citizens.
Considerably poorer countries are able to deliver much higher life quality to the average citizen than the US.
What I noticed in the US which is sort of absurd is how many are forced to live in huge houses simply to be in a decent neighborhood with okay schools and low crime. I was reading about a Norwegian couple staying there some years and they remarked on how they had to buy a house 4 times the size of what they needed. Smaller ones simply did not exist in that area.
Hence you end up in a situation where Americans are living it big while at the same time feeling poor. They struggle to pay bills, while living in a house bigger than they need. And of course without any kind of public transportation (or rather cities built for it to work well), they are force to buy expensive cars, insurance, gasoline etc.
There was someone doing an in depth analysis of this comparing the average Dutch person with the average American one. It was two economists. They found that the Dutch person ended up with a more comfortable economy than the average American despite the fact that US is a much richer country with higher salaries, where average price per square meter of housing is lower.
It is just that in the Netherlands you got more choices in smaller housing. Tons of excellent public transportation options meaning you don't have to spend as much money on transportation. A family can manage with one car rather than 2-3. Or they can have cars but they can be user less often and be smaller.
I am an example of this. Don't own a car. Live in an apartment. Within a 15 minutes walk (a walk not driving) I get to dentist, medical doctor, library, multiple super markets, restaurants, clothing stores, hardware store, gym, soccer field, horse farm, forrest with creeks and waterfalls, ski pists, subway station, buss station, numerous pre-schools, two elementary schools, one middle school, countless playgrounds, swings, sandboxes for kids, parks. And I probably forgotten a bunch of things.
I remember living in the US in the suburbs. Within a 15 minute walk I had not reached much of anything of interest. Just more houses.
I admit it is awesome with huge American houses and yards. There are many clear benefits to that. But it means society is arranged in a way that require a very high income to just live comfortable.
I have seen some Americans with video blogs living here in Norway remark on this. Just how much better economy they get. I don't see many talk much about this because it is a kind of nuts and bolts discussion which is a bit abstract, but basically the US has organized itself in a way that makes quite affluent people feel poor.
Yes your friend is correct about the affuent neighborhoods. Their are neighborhoods that have smaller houses and are low in crime, but it kind of depends on the area you live in.
I live in California, so if you live in Los Angeles, you will NOT find small houses in affuent neighborhoods or they are few or far between. I live in Ventura county which is does have smaller track houses that are low crime safe areas, but Ventura county is a suburb of Los Angeles and does not have big metropolitan areas like Los Angeles.
Overall Ventura county as a suburb of Los Angeles has mostly bedroom communities.
We are working class and we manage to live in a suburb of Ventura county called Simi Valley which is probably considered somewhat affluent but has low crime and is safer then living in Los Angeles county. Though it is not as affluent as Westlake village, Agoura hills or which is within 20 minutes driving time from us.
My husband works very close to home but alot of his co-workers have to commute at least 1 hour away to come to work in Simi valley because of how expensive the rents are. Their is a city called Palmdale and Lancaster that alot of people live and commute to Ventura county for their jobs. Palmdale and Lancaster does have a lower cost of housing for those who bought awhile ago, but it has higher crime because it draws mostly low earning working class people to live there.
So yes if you want to live in a safe neighborhood you have to live in an affuent neighborhood with a much bigger house then maybe you want or you have to move to the suburbs like where i live where its away from the big city and you will find some small track houses in low crime safe neighborhoods.
Those small track houses though are astronomically high in price now, so you would have to be affluent to buy them now unfortunately.
I do feel very blessed that we do live in a nice safe area even though we are working class, and that my husband only works 5 minutes away and i work from home, but i know alot of people have long commutes. We also have a very old car which we have kept up maintaining to avoid buying a newer car.
If I were younger, I would leave in disgust. But I am a care giver, a senior, etc. so seem to be trapped in a country I do not recognize. So, I do what I can to call out this regime, tend to the real victims and support the opposition. The victimhood mantle worn by white males is especially galling to me. I remember when women had to have a parent, guardian or spouse to co-sign for credit cards, apartment rentals, loans, etc. We were steered to careers in education and healthcare. I was called a misfit because I wanted to be an engineer and was attending a public university that had just started allowing undergrad women. Sigh. So much changed for the better, but now the pendulum swings back. I can well imagine the concerns that people of color are feeling. My country shames me.
People take for granted the good things in society they grow up with. I am guilty of that myself. As a young man, I hated feminism in Norway. I hated social democracy. I idolized American style capitalism. I was utterly blind to the qualities of my own country and people. I came to the US over 20 years ago, thinking it would be the ideal society. But ironically it was really a way for to start seeing my own home country in a realistic light.
It made me realize that every single country on this planet has challenges. Stuff that doesn't work. But I came to realize that many of the problems we had would have been seen as luxury problems in most other countries.
The feminism I was annoyed at looked very different when I started seeing a lot of misogyny. I remember getting advised to take advantage of women in the US. People telling me how to approach a girl only to see what looked very much like sexual assault to me. There was time where I was seeing stuff that looked like it could end in a rape. And nobody seemed to act.
When you haven't seen all that stuff before it is harder to empathize with women. The stuff my mom talked about how women got treated in the 1960s Norway just seemed like far away an irrelevant for my time. And now I see a guy sentenced for rape in civil court. That brags about sexual assault on women (grab them by the...) gets elected for the highest office in the US. A rude wakeup call. Why I think us men have to speak out in favor of women and other minorities and disadvantaged groups.
What can I say? Somehow I think a lot of American women have naively believed that their rights have been won and secured. Or the right managed to convince them that their primary enemy was transwomen and trans rights advocates.
I cannot really tell how they managed to fool so many people. Perhaps religion. It seems like you can get people to buy anything then. Trump cannot quote a single passage in the Bible or mention any story important to him. Yet the Evangelicals act as if he is a man chosen by God.
It is surreal.
I lived in Germany in the ‘60s as a service dependent. Multiple times I was unwillingly groped by a peer student or stranger as an 11 or 12 year old. As a 12 year old traveling over the Atlantic on a night flight, a stranger sitting next to me started groping me during the night. I had to get tough, but did not know how to speak up, until I did. When I started Uni, a stranger told me I must be smart, because they let me in. An elder professor greeted us with, “Good morning, gentlemen … and Lady?” I learned to never cry and how to navigate being unladylike and being too nice, the art of reading a room. I was told by my first boss after graduating university that I was hired because they needed a woman in the shop. I think the full force of my second classness hit me then. I moved to a different company and thrived as they made it important to value all employees. Even when there were layoffs, they tried to do them with care. I do not want to see that world return. How many times do I have to drag this tired old body out of retirement to call out the need for empathy, kindness, opportunity, etc. for all? We all want the same thing: to love and to be loved, to provide for family, to not be a burden. Thanks for sharing your story. I thought I’d add mine.
Wow that is crazy. I am shocked by how young girls men would touch. It seems way more common than I had assumed in the past. Must have been rough mentally. Was it something you felt you could discuss with anyone else?
You know I keep wondering about this 1950s and 1960s that the tradcons glorify today how much of that was just propaganda. The news would naturally not tell citizens about how prevalent what you describe was. I bet you were all just told to keep your mouths shut about it. Pretend like nothing happened.
Now I grew up in the 1980s so women obviously had more right then, but I do encounter young men today online who also have a nostalgic view of the 1980s, a time they never experienced themselves.
What I try to point out is that so many of the problems that we talk about today existed then as well, it is just that it was taboo to talk about. It could be child abuse, rape, violent parents. A lot of things that didn't make it into the news and which people didn't talk about because it was still something that made people feel very awkward.
I remember in the 1990s that our prime minister was away on sick leave for depression. It was a very important moment I think because he chose to be open about it. A topic that at the time was still quite taboo to talk about.
I think in the ‘60s we kept things to ourselves. I felt shame. That said, re the airplane incident, I excused myself to go to the rest room, went back to check with my parents, who had two seats somewhat near one another. After hanging in the aisle, someone swapped seats with Dad so I could sit with Mom and Dad went back to my seat. Ha. I bet my groper was worried. But I never told my parents, I think I was worried about a fight on the plane. As an older adult, I finally told Mom, I think during the me, too phase. At least I never suffered rape or a beating. I had a friend who confided she’d been raped by two different men within a year. One was a professor, who she had to see often in class. This stuff is real which is irritating. Many abusers are married with children. How would they feel if it was their daughter? One of my friends is biracial and has a son she worries about all the time if he should be pulled over for driving while black, etc. Another friend is grandma to biracial children. So far, they are doing well as young tads, but I know she worries about the future for them. Anyway, thanks for listening to my venting. Maybe things will bounce back before long.
After everyone is sacked, when all minorities have been marginalised or deported, after all of talent has fled overseas, when all of the economic and physical walls have been built, when angry people all over the world are boycotting US goods and services, when the oligarchs have all of the money, WHO WILL BUY THEIR GOODS OR SERVICES?
They have only become rich because of the middle class and intelligentsia which they are hellbent on destroying.
Loved your article, but what's the downside to being a white male? Just so I know your story.
Hi Natasha, sorry it took me a while to get back to you on this. I simply did not think it was possible to give a good short reply to such a complex question.
This topic is so profoundly loaded with hard fronts that almost anything said can be misinterpreted or taken out of context. Self-victimization of white males, has been such a powerful propaganda tool for fascists, redpillers, manosphere, racists, misogynists and many others that I simply did not feel I could write about those disadvantages without giving them proper context. That is what I tried to do here:
https://open.substack.com/pub/erikexamines/p/downsides-of-being-a-white-male?r=ioelo&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
I am sorry this is a very long article. I suppose you could skim or jump around to see what my points are.
I can try to do a some sort of summary here:
White male disadvantages is typically in public discourse. White men are typically disparaged and blamed for all the social ills of society. While other groups of people are generally painted as victims struggling to overcome the problems white males have created.
Now in part, it is somewhat unavoidable. White men are behind a lot of problems. Men specifically are the key drivers of most wars, crime and violence. It stands to reason that we get more criticism than women. But naturally for a regular Joe just trying to get by with no special privilege it can feel kind of crushing to always be singled out as the source of all the problems when Mr. average Joe never took party in those. He didn't start a war. Isn't part of a gang etc.
It can be a bit like being a minority overrepresented on crime. While it might make sense that our group of people get talked about it feels unfair to be lumped in with them when you yourself never participated in any crime.
As for the blame on whites. Most of this writing is of course written from the perspective of Western society, which is white dominated. Naturally in this context white people have most of the power and thus most of the responsibilities for what ultimate happens in society. Thus you naturally become a target for criticism.
But again, if you are a regular Joe, in a regular job with no special privilege, power or influence that can feel unfair.
And as the "face of the oppressor" you will run into problems whether you like it or not if you are not careful. I had a friend who worked with Africans before. He did not realize the dynamic between whites and black would be totally different in the US when he came there. He walked into an all black neighborhood thinking there was no issue doing that. They slammed him against the wall and told him to get his white ass out of there.
There is a great book about gang crime in 1980s Chicago in the Housing Projects called Gang Leader for a Day about a Indian-American doing his PhD there. He goes interviewing black gang members. It becomes clear in the conversation there that he very much had a privilege relative to whites over being Indian. They made it clear they would have beaten him up if he was white.
It is not entirely uncommon that people who have a history of having been oppressed by white people, have very hostile attitude towards any whites no matter what role you yourself or your ancestors might have played in that.
They are using DARVO - Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. It is a strategy used by all abusive personalities. It only works because more people aren’t familiar with it.
You’re welcome! Psychologist Dr. Jennifer Joy Freyd studied how it works and, I believe, came up with the acronym. It is so incredibly effective at giving someone the upper hand that it is considered a weapon of psychological warfare. It utilizes a mix of gaslighting and blame shifting that is almost impossible to see unless you have been taught how it works. Narcissistic parents, domestic abusers, cult leaders and tyrants all use it obtain/maintain dominance and avoid accountability. I wish more people knew about it.
Hey thanks for telling me about this! That is very useful knowledge. Now, I knew people use these kinds of tactics but I never had a word for it or knew it was a studied phenomenon and narrowed down in this way. That is a very powerful tool in just easily label someone employing these tactics as you got a name to give it.
I found this wiki, but I am sure there is tons written about this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DARVO
I wanted to comment on your article about healthcare. It is terrible that a health emergency can pretty much cause you to be bankrupt if you need anykind of emergency surgery or a long hospital stay here in the United states.
I hope one day that will change here in this nation, being sick or having a medical emergency should not cause you to go bankrupt.'
You are correct about providers charge alot for procedures and they pad the bills with unecessary charges like $20 for an aspirin.
Also pharmaceuticals mark up their medications up to 500%, that also contributes to the astronomical cost of healthcare.
Nothing ever gets done because everytime a universal healthcare which is called Medicare here that seniors can sign up for after 66 is mentioned to expand to ALL, people cry that they don't want goverment run healthcare.
the fear of universal healthcare is irrational, so nothing really changes.
MAGA people see themselves as "Real Americans", what happens to them is real, what happens to anyone else does not matter. Human beings are so good at group identity, they become completely irrational.
Yeah I think you hit the nail on the head. It reminds me a lot of how the Nazis talked in the 1930s. They maintained the delusion that they represented all Germans by dismissing their opponents as having been corrupted by Jewish ideas, and thus were no longer really German but Jews. Hence anyone who was socialist, social democrat or liberal was simply defined as a form of Jew and hence not German and hence not worthy of any respect or rights.
As an white American woman I’m always amazed at my population’s arrogance. We don’t see our contribution to the suffering of others. We continue to act with such superiority and victimization. I’m ashamed and I’m sorry. I have spent my whole life fighting this mentality. Clearly we have failed. I’m not proud of my race and I’m sorry .
Pride is a funny thing. I am proud to be Norwegian, but I don't see why people would be proud of their skin color per se. I think when people say "proud to be black", it is really just a way of rejecting the shame many have tried to impose on them for their skin color. But society has not tried to make us ashamed of being white, so it would be odd to pronounce "pride" is merely having a skin color.
Of course being Norwegian is not an accomplishment I can point to. It is just what I was born into. But I can be proud of the values and type of society my people made. But ultimately those are about actions, choices and values and not a physical attribute.
And as an American there are many things you can be proud of even if there are things which are also quite negative. I think one can choose to be proud of the good things and criticize the bad things.
I have long been critical of the US, but I also know the US has a strong left, that will not easily give up against authoritarian forces. I am putting my faith in American civil society and American spirit and energy. I like to think that while Trump is bulldozing everyone now.... eventually an effective resistance will slowly gather momentum and organize to resist.
I don't like when people say they are ashamed of their race. You are human and exceptionally so. You are a good human striving to be better all the time and to SEE other people. You should be very proud of that. At this point I think we need to divide people into the decent and undecent. And I mean UNDECENT. The antithesis of striving to do better.
I don't think Susan was ashamed of being white. Just that she didn't see a reason to be proud of it. And why should anyone be proud of their skin color? It is not an accomplishment. The only reason I can see people express pride is when they are trying to push back against people trying to shame them for their skin color. But I don't think that is a white problem. Whites have more of a problem with white supremacy.
I was trying to tell her not to feel bad because she is obviously a good person. If she feels anger for what others have done I'm down with that being a brown person myself I feel anger a lot myself but don't blame all white people for the actions of those who perpetrate and I don't want anyone to feel ashamed of things they can't help by being associated with people who look like them.
Thanks it makes it more clear. I suspected this is what you meant. It can be a balancing act. I dislike those who don’t want to talk about history or white supremacy and instead only speak or national pride. But I also dislike a lot “White Fragility” talk of the likes of Robin DiAngelo. It feels like promoting self-loathing.
I don’t think anyone should loathe themselves over their skin color. I instead argue we should work against racism rather than perfecting self-loathing because white people hating themselves doesn’t actually help any marginalized minority.
I think a focus on policy is better. Things like sensible affirmative action but also I believe any society with serious programs and systems to deal with poverty and inequality will indirectly help marginalized minorities.
As much as I understand what you are saying I have to acknowledge the damage the white race oligarchs have done to the indigenous populations of the world. Our culture is one of arrogance without respect to other populations. I live and work in a Hispanic population. It is a culture of beauty and grace. Every time I work in my historic population I find an arrogance in most of it that makes me run from it.
While we should acknowledge the problem with white supremacy I don't think you should see your culture as being your race. I know this is a common perspective in the US, but I really would argue strongly that such thinking probably undermines anti-racism efforts.
We should not equate our race with our culture, otherwise we imply that culture derives from our genes. That would indirectly imply that white people are superior to other people given that Western culture has dominated the world economically, technologically, culturally and militarily.
Our culture comes from cultural transmission not genetic transmission. It is about what society you grow up in. Naturally culture will overlap with skin color, but it isn't the same.
I lived in North Dakota among descendants of Norwegians. They may have looked like me but I did not feel we had much in common. I had more in common with my Vietnamese-Norwegian friend. We might have quite different DNA lineage, but we grew up in the same culture.
Bottomline is that you can belong to Western culture regardless of your skin color or blood lineage. And that applies to anywhere. I recently saw an interview with a black Japanese girl. Her parents were originally from the US. She went to the US, but she felt like a complete outsider and could not relate to African-American culture. She felt more Japanese and so she return to Japan.
I remember in the interview that her mannerism, body language and everything was totally Japanese.
If "white" was a culture then you and me should share culture. Most likely we don't. For me writing English is more like an act. It is to mimic the way Americans express themselves. I would express many of these thoughts different in my native tongue.
Just as I think African-Americans and Nigerians, Kenyans, Ghanans etc likely don't have that much in common. You mention hispanics. Well I would bet Argentinians, Brazilians and Mexicans are very different from each other.
Please don't read this the wrong way. I realize that in America "white" and "black" is often just a shorthand for the culture that is most dominant among white Americans. Just as "black" is a shorthand for a culture prevalent among descendants of African American slaves.
A problem with tying this to skin color though is that it denies the ability of people have a culture different from their skin color assigned culture. A black person should be able to have a culture more similar to the white population than the black without somehow being labeled as a traitor to his or her own race. A race should not own a particular culture.
And at the bottom of all this is that race is a societal construct used to separate people into superior and inferior. There is no such thing as race. We are all one species with variations. Humans though some people seem to have not reached that level yet
Accenture was the best place I ever worked. They demand a lot from their people, but they give a lot in return. Very few American companies come up to their level.
Hi Erik, good to see you here
Nobles always complain when their Rights are reduced and commoners given more. Its the same here, they had hierarchical view of society. DEI hires is overstepping their station while millionaire greatly suffer when their power checked.
No Trumpers believes "all man had equal dignity"